Heart Full of Hate
There once was a boy named Robert. He mostly went by Rob,
unless his friend Sally was talking to him. She always referred to him as
Robert. Sally was actually the only person Rob would allow to call him Robert;
this was because Rob thought Sally was the prettiest girl he ever did see. Rob
and Sally had lived by each other their whole lives. In fact they lived just
three doors down from each other, and because they lived so close Rob and
Sally’s parents carpooled to school ever since they were in kindergarten. When Sally and Rob were younger they were the
best of buds. You could always find them
outside climbing trees or playing street hockey. Growing up Rob would do anything Sally asked
because he never once stopped thinking she was the prettiest and wisest of all
girls. It wasn’t until about sixth grade when they stopped being such good
friends.
You see Robert was more of a shy, quiet kid, while Sally was
wild and loud. Sixth grade was the first
year that you could choose where you wanted to sit during lunch. Rob was pretty nervous that he wouldn't have
anywhere to sit, but he was sure that Sally would sit with him! When the bell rang for lunch, all sixth
graders hurried because they were excited to be sitting with all their friends. When Rob made it into the cafeteria, he scoped out the room in hopes of seeing Sally waving for him to come sit down. After standing in the doorway getting bumped
into person after person, he finally saw Sally sitting with a group of
people. With a sigh of relief, he
started walking towards her table. Approaching the table he yelled for Sally, “Hey! Hey Sally!!”
As he yelled her name, the other kids at the table whispered
to Sally, “You know this nerd?”
As Rob reached the table, everyone was staring at him including
Sally. Rob then again said hello to
Sally as she just sat there in silence.
A boy named Reese broke the silence and shooed him away saying, "Get lost, nerd!" Rob couldn't believe that Sally
had just ignored him like that, but from then on out he knew that they wouldn't
be friends anymore.
The worst part about Rob and Sally not being friends anymore
is that they still had to carpool to school every day. Through middle school and all the way though high
school. The car rides in the morning
were never too bad until junior year of high school. You see until then they always had a parent
in the car, and never had any awkward silence.
Junior year Sally got her driver's license and they started taking her
dad’s regular cab small truck. The first day
Sally drove, Rob sat in complete silence the whole way. Actually the first
month they sat in complete silence. This
was Rob’s most dreadful 23 minutes of his day.
Sally had been dating Reese for two years--yes, the same kid
Reese that booted Rob away from the lunch table in sixth grade. Rob hated that Sally and Reese dated, and out
of jealousy his heart filled with hate over the years, so much hate that he
became evil. He set out to ruin their
relationship.
Rob had a plan, and the first step was to become friends
with Sally again, and Rob knew exactly how to do that. One morning Rob broke the dreadful silence
for the first time. All Rob could get
out at first was “Hey Sally," and a confused yet shocked look came across
Sally’s face as she responded softly, “Hey.” Speaking those short words to Sally brought up more emotions than he
expected, but the hate in his heart was so strong that he stuck to his
plan. He explained to Sally that he
didn't care that they weren’t friends, and that he only wished for decent
conversations in the mornings. Sally
giggled with relief and was happy to hear that he didn't hate her, and agreed
to talkative mornings. And just like that
step one was complete.
The next step for Rob was getting an invite to one of Sally
and her friends’ parties. This step took
the longest for Rob. It took a few
mornings driving to school for Rob and Sally to get comfortable with each
other. Finally after two and a half weeks
Sally decided to ask Rob to come to a party at her house after that
week’s basketball game.
The final step for Rob to ruin their relationship
would happen during this party. Rob had
an evil plan to set up Reese to cheat on Sally.
Standing by the punch bowl Rob started talking to Katie, a beautiful girl with
strawberry blond hair, and knew that she would step up and take the job he had
to offer. Katie only said yes to
seducing Reese if Rob would do her homework for pre-calculus the next month. Of course, to Rob
that was worth her service, and he agreed.
It didn’t take long for drunken Reese to agree to Katie’s
offer and that's when Rob swooped in and grabbed Sally. He explained to her that he needed to talk to
her immediately and led her to the same room Reese was. And just like that his plan was complete. Sally felt that her life was over because her heart had been broken. Even though Rob had made Sally sad he found joy out of being evil, by taking away Sally’s love for Reese.
Author's
note:
I
strayed a lot from the original story. My main focus from the PDE Ramayana
story was the part from the ‘Golden Deer.' Ravana was a demon that
tricked Rama and Sita multiple times because he wanted Sita for himself. That
is what happens here with Rob, Sally, and Reese. Rama was living in exile
with Sita when Ravana planned his tricks. Ravana lured Rama away with the golden
deer, he told the golden deer to fake Rama's voice, and he also pretended to be an
old brahmin so that Sita would invite him in the house. These tricks are
very different than the ones that happen in my story. Rob gets a girl
named Katie who acts as the ‘Golden Deer’ in this story to trick Reese into
cheating on Sally with her. My goal with this story is to explain that
there can be a golden deer in any situation. People will play hateful
tricks on one another. No one thought of Rob as a bad guy, but he is still the
one that sent the golden deer. Not saying you shouldn’t trust people, but you
should always be aware of how you treat people for they could send the golden
deer your way. Overall the purpose of this story is to remind people to always
treat people kind even if they aren’t the same as you, or you feel that you are
more popular than someone. We should try to treat people the way we
would want to be treated.
Bibliography:
"Heart full of Hate"comes from covering the story Public Domain Edition: Ramayana, focused on Reading part B Number 33 The Golden Deer.
I always enjoy trying to guess what story the student-written tale is based on. I wasn't able to figure it out, but once I read the author's note it made sense. Great tale! I liked how you developed the relationship between Rob and Sally in the beginning. It helped to establish why Rob would be so heart-broken when Sally stopped talking to him. The one area I wished had been developed more was how Rob's personality shifted from shy and reserved to being capable of approaching a stranger at a party with a devious proposition. Maybe you could just include a sentence or two about how is jealousy and hatred slowly transformed his personality. I enjoyed how you blended his love with his anger - it created a realistic motivation for his actions.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your tales in the future!
Hi Sarah! I have to say, I think that the way you write is amazing and quite poetic! I loved when you said "he ever did see" when referring to Rob and Sally, it really makes it read like a story! I really thought you did a great job explaining the history between Rob and Sally, I found myself getting quite invested in the characters and I was sad when Rob turned evil! The ending was great and I thought it had a modern and relatable twist with the alcohol. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an interesting take on 'The Golden Deer'. I appreciated the fact that you chose one specific element from that story and included it into your own story. I think the way you build Rob's character was cool because he started off as a sweet, caring guy into this upset revenge seeker. I wonder how the story would change if it was told from Robert's point of view. Right now, the third person perspective lets the reader get an objective view of the story, but maybe if readers could see the situation from his POV then we would get another glimpse into his changing personality. This was just my personal opinion; I still think you did a great job with this story.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to formatting, I only had trouble reading the small font of the Author's note. Otherwise, the paragraphs were sectioned appropriately and flowed nicely. Also, I like the symbolic image you included at the beginning. I think you could also have fun looking for ways to depict the main characters using symbolism or actual pictures from the internet.
Great job with this story Sarah! I love reading about revenge because it is always so exiting! Not that revenge is always the best path to take, but you always know something intense is going down. I like how you built up the story. I really started to feel for Rob and take his side after Sally and Reece had treated him so bad. Then, you showed the story changing direction and Rob comes up with a plan to separate the couple. The ending was perfect with the planning coming together the way it did. I felt happy for Rob at that point (I hope that does not make me a bad person). One thing to mention is your story telling style. You are consistent throughout most of the story telling it from a narrative point of view, but a few sentences switch to first person told by Rob. You might want to go back through and take a look at that.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story! Your title first captured my attention and made me want to read it! This is an interesting take on the Epic. I never thought about revenge while reading. Although, I can now clearly see why it was a good idea. Your dialogue also helped create a good flow to the story.
ReplyDeleteI would be careful to edit more slowly. I saw a few minor mistakes. For example, using lead instead of led. I would also suggest making your author's note larger. I could barley read it. Overall, your story was very easy to read and comprehend. Thank you for sharing.
Hi again Sarah!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun story! I felt like I was reading a script for an ABC Family show. (the station is now called Freeform) It had a good balance of drama, romance, a moral theme and betrayal!
Your author's note is really helpful for this story. I didn't know up until the end of the story that it was related to the Golden Deer. Your story entertained me, and it was easy to relate to it.
Visually the paragraphs are bulky and the reader has a hard time with bigger paragraphs on blogs.I like the image you chose, but it may be more helpful to add more images to also help break up the reading.
Thank you so much for making the names easier for my brain to process. The names you chose for your story connect back to the original stories very easily.
Thank you for sharing your story, I look forward to coming back to see more of your stories this semester!
Hi again Sarah!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun story! I felt like I was reading a script for an ABC Family show. (the station is now called Freeform) It had a good balance of drama, romance, a moral theme and betrayal!
Your author's note is really helpful for this story. I didn't know up until the end of the story that it was related to the Golden Deer. Your story entertained me, and it was easy to relate to it.
Visually the paragraphs are bulky and the reader has a hard time with bigger paragraphs on blogs.I like the image you chose, but it may be more helpful to add more images to also help break up the reading.
Thank you so much for making the names easier for my brain to process. The names you chose for your story connect back to the original stories very easily.
Thank you for sharing your story, I look forward to coming back to see more of your stories this semester!
Your story is seriously FANTASTIC! (I am not just saying this so you won't send the golden deer my way:) But Seriously, it was wonderful. I am such a sucker for love stories. I was hopeful until Rob turned evil. After that, I knew it was not going to end well. Your story reminds me of the movie Neighbors. The neighbors of a frat house get a girl to cheat on the president of the club in the attempt to try and shut the frat down because they were being too loud. Although I loved your story a lot, I feel like it is definitely practical and can happen with old friends. I really liked how you had a lesson in your story but also a great read. Well done! Thank you for sharing! I cannot wait to get to read more of your writings in the future!
ReplyDeleteOh my! This was hard to get through, and not because it’s horrible written or anything. It’s the character of Rob has the downward spiral. An all to realistic downward spiral. I found It difficult to read because of the realism, and my heart broke for a character that started out so innocently to suddenly become some benevolent. You really did stay true to The Ramayana and I think that was great, but I like the fact you applied it to a real life situation. Your interpretation of the story is probably what the author intended for the reader to learn. I enjoyed that about what you wrote.
ReplyDeleteI only have one teensy, itty bitty problem. The photo, I like the photo and it makes sense, but a part of me wishes I could have a before and after picture of Rob, maybe him turning from a complete nerd to a darker person. Just so we can see the drastic change within him.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI am impressed with the way you linked your story to the PDE Ramayana. Your author’s note is full of details that help us connect your story with Ramayana. I could see your story happening in a daily life. Jealousy and selfishness is dangerous and can ruin our life. I am sad that Sally was made to feel the way she did because Rob wanted to fill in his ego and take revenge for what sally did to him. I think this situation happens more often than we think in a student’s life. I wonder what sally did after she saw Reese with Katie in the room? Did they have a huge argument there at the moment? I wonder if Rob and Sally became the best buddies like they were before after this event. It was interesting to see the transformation of Rob throughout the story. He turned form a sweet friend to a person who would be a cause of pain. Good job!
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI really love how you changed your story. You made the "Golden Deer" story more relatable to life today. I love your overall message that anyone or anything could be the "Golden Deer" in your life. You need to be wary and notice the way you are treating people. I felt so bad for Rob, kids can be so mean! However, he was not the nicest at the end of the story either. I don't think he handled the situation very well. Especially given the fact that in a couple of years high school would be over and the rest of his life could begin and he wouldn't have to see Sally every day. Poor Sally, it is not easy to have your heart repaired after a break like that. I hope that Robert stayed away from Sally after that because that is not something a friend does. Both of them deserve real friends that they can truly count on. You did a great job with your story! It was a great read!
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI really like your layout, colors, format, and font. The dark font on the very light background is a great contrast on the eyes. The font is a good size (but if it was a tad larger it would be easier to read). The paragraphs are evenly spaced and they look very professional.
Your story was wonderful! It was not what I expected at all, and I have not read a story like it in this class yet. It made me sad to see Rob betray his old best friend like that, because he should have forgiven her for what she did to get it off his chest. Instead, he wanted to make her hurt as much as she had hurt him. I feel like the best parts of your story were the little details. They were imperative to the story and you fit them into it very well.
Until next time!
Hello Sarah! It is really nice to meet you! I chose your portfolio as my free choice for this week! I picked your portfolio because I like how your blog is very easy to navigate. For instance, I like how all of your major tabs are listed to the right of your blog. And I really like your layout and the colors, so I feel more comfortable as I browse through it. Your story is an amazing story and very enjoyable one to read .you did great job in your author’s note as well where it has a lot of details to help us understand the original story and your story. This story is really one of the wonderful stories that I read and it is so sad also. I hope your semester going good. And I will be back to read more. You are such an amazing writer. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was really interesting. You did a great job explaining the background of the story. The image was appropriate, it symbolized the title of the story. Rob had taken a lot of abuse of the years and he finally got his revenge. I liked the way you paralleled your story and the Ramayana's Sita and the golden deer. The only suggestions I can offer is to enlarge the font on your author's note. Excellent job! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteWow this story was definitely a powerful lesson about treating other the way we want to be treated. It was sad to read this story and watch as their relationship not only falls a part, but also changes them as people too. With Sally becoming more involved in the cool crowd and shunning away poor Rob, it serves as a reminder to us that reaching out to others and just being a good friend to someone can make a drastic difference in the way we develop as people. One thing that did slow me down as I was reading your story, was you used a lot of proper nouns for the character's names. Perhaps switching to using a few more pronouns like he, she, his or hers, the story would flow just a little bit smoother. Besides that, I did not have another problem with your story. Great job writing this!
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI chose to read your portfolio because I remember the story about how Sita was abducted by the evil Ravana and it playing a pivotal role for the rest of the Ramayana, so I wanted to see your take on this story. I like how you spent a lot of time developing the relationship between Rob and Sally. This really helped explain why Rob got so hurt by Sally’s behavior as they got older. I felt that the switch of Rob’s personality from just being shy and reserved to where he was trying to ruin Sally’s relationship could have used a little more development though. You explained the plan that he had devised very well. Your Author’s Note was very helpful because I almost didn’t recognize the similarity from the Ramayana’s story and your creation. You had a very powerful moral in the story and I like your words of caution for the people who act like Sally and Reese.
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI decided to take a look at your second story in your portfolio because I really enjoyed your first one. This one was a little different then what I read before but I really enjoyed it. I think what stands out the most to me in this story is how well it is written. It is always good to read stories that are written very well. I also thought you did a good job explaining each character involved and each role they have in the story. The story was sad at first for Robert but as the story went on Rob got his revenge which was a clever idea but I wonder what happens if you kept on with the story. I wonder if Sally finds out about Rob’s plan and then Sally starts to hate rob. I thought it was really creative of you. Great story and very creative.